The 10 Most Annoying Questions Brides Get Asked

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Something about weddings just brings out the nosiness in people, and questions that are deemed inappropriate are suddenly being asked by everyone and their mothers. There's also those annoying and awkward questions that are just never easy to answer. Here are the ten most commonly asked questions, and how to answer them.

1. How are you paying for the wedding? / Who’s paying for the wedding?

It really is no one else’s business how you’re going to be paying for the wedding, but unfortunately some people still ask. Answer back with a question like, “Why do you ask?” or laugh it off by saying “Why, are you offering? We’re accepting donations.” – that ought to get the point across.

2. How much does the wedding cost? / How much are you paying for *insert item/service*?

Again, when it comes to weddings people seem to think asking about money is completely okay. It’s up to you who you want to share this information with, but more often than not it only goes two ways: either said person will think you’re being snobby and spending too much, or being tacky and spending an embarrassingly low amount. You could always just stick with answers to the previous question. Or, you could say something along the lines of, “I’m not too sure yet – we still haven’t decided on everything/we’re still planning.”

However, if one of your friends or someone else in the same boat as you is asking then you might help them out a bit – maybe you two can share some tips between each other.

3. Are you sure he’s the one haha? / You know 50% of marriages end in a divorce, right?

Either they mean it as a joke, or are generally cynical – but these questions get asked surprisingly often. You can always smile and laugh it off, you don’t need to justify your relationship to people. Answering politely can also work – “I’m sure he’s the one, otherwise I wouldn’t be marrying him!” or “Yes, but I’m hoping we’re in the 50% that work out”.

4. So, when are you having kids? / When are you starting a family?

Ah, the dreaded question for some. You’re barely engaged and the questions start popping up as if it’s everyone’s business. Your answer would depend on who’s asking (someone you don’t know that well or your parents?), but if it’s something you’re really not comfortable with discussing then you can always just say “When we’re ready”. Alternatively, you could let the person know you’re not entirely comfortable talking about it at such an early stage. Humor may also work; laugh it off by saying “I think we need to actually be married first”.

5. Can I bring a plus-one to the wedding?

If you’re having a big wedding and allowing guests to bring dates, then this isn’t really an issue. But couples having smaller weddings with a strict budget might not want extra people at the wedding – especially people they don’t know. Maybe sticking to strict standard (such as only couples who having been dating for 3 months+ are allowed to bring a date) can help. Otherwise, just let the person know that it’s a small, intimate wedding or that you’ve already reached the maximum number on your guest list.

6. Am I invited?

Guest lists can be long and frustrating at times, especially for those having a more intimate ceremony and if you haven’t finished planning yet, this is a hard question to answer. If it’s someone that is definitely invited, it’s good to give them a heads up, but if you haven’t decided yet, you could say something like, “Oh, we haven’t even thought about guest lists yet!”. On the other hand, if invites have already gone out and the person asking isn’t getting one, it can be a little awkward. But being truthful and saying, “I’m so flattered that you want to attend but unfortunately, we’re having a small wedding with just close family and friends.” Maybe you and/or your partner have huge families that take up most of the guest list – let the person asking know this.

7. Are you inviting *insert name*?

Again, it’s difficult to know the answer to this if you’re still in the planning stage. Never give someone a straight-up answer at this stage because you may have to end up changing your guest list. It’s worse if it’s an estranged family member, such as a parent you’re not close to. If you know for sure you won’t be inviting that certain person, you could respond by saying “We haven’t finalized the guest list yet – but it’s going to be a small wedding with just close family.” Or simply, “I’d rather not discuss that right now.”

8. Am I going to be a bridesmaid? / Am I in the bridal party?

Again, if the answer is yes then you’re already set. Otherwise, it can be quite awkward. Your response could be something such as, “We’ve chosen a small bridal party but I’m so excited for you to celebrate with us!” It sounds a little harsh, but there really is no easy way to answer such a blunt question politely. If the person doesn’t live close-by or is always busy you can always let them know that there are a lot of fittings, meetings and requirements that you would need from them and you can’t ask them to do all that. You could always just be straightforward and let them know that you aren’t particularly close to that person and have chosen only close family and friends to be the in the bridal party.

9. Is it alright if I wear white?

Why some people would want to wear white to a wedding if they aren’t the bride is strange to me – but people do ask. If you’re fine with it, then that’s perfectly fine and you should let your guests know its okay. But if you’re not comfortable with this (and it’s alright not to be – it is your big day after all), just let them know – “It’s so nice of you to ask, and normally it wouldn’t be an issue, but I would really prefer if you didn’t wear the same colour as me on my wedding day.” Hopefully, they understand.

10. So have you gotten your dress? Have you booked your venue/band/caterer? Etc.

It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing when someone is interested in how the planning process is going – but once you get asked the same questions a thousand times it can start to get a little annoying. It’s always good to start planning early but if you’ve just gotten engaged it can be a bit stressful to have people keep reminding you of everything you just “have to do right away”. If the answer to their question is yes, then that’s simple enough. Otherwise, just let them know, “No, not yet. But I’m working on it”.


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